Manipulation and Peace-Making

2003-07-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

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Day 6 of class means also the last day of class. Time sure flies when one is having so much fun. The moments that was spent over the last one week will forever be in my memory. Biz 2 SR 9 will always hold a special meaning for me (at least until some clown decides to hold his or her ultra, sure-fire insomniacs cure-lecture in there. Then the memory will be corrupted. Let‘s hope that that does not happen!).

Prior to the commencement of the module, I was hoping that the week will fly by soon and I can go back to enjoying the holidays again, or at least what’s left of it. Yet now, as I type this journal entry at 11 plus at night, I am experiencing a sense of loss. A feeling of sadness. It is quite a sad thing, that the module has, unfortunately come to an end. As the old saying goes, all good things must come to an end. But that does not necessarily mean that I must like what is inevitable. I feel so sad! All the many fun times that we have are but just a memory now. Still at least I have those memories, as well as pictures of the class at work and having fun. Taking this course was one of the best things that I have done since coming to NUS. This is especially so when I see how many new friends I made and how many old ones have I reaffirmed my friendship with. Being together from 0830 to 1730 for six days is sure to have an effect on us. In this case, the effect was one that is positive and very fulfilling, and the result was the formation of new friendships.

Thus, that is why when class started today, I felt a bitter-sweet feeling in my heart. It was a good thing that Ho Beng made us go think about the multi-party scenario from then. Having something to do usually takes my mind of things and that bittersweet feeling did not return till the end of the day.

The multi-party mediation was a totally new experience for us all, and especially so for the mediators. Having to deal with so many different sides and interests certainly was taxing on the concentration and endurance of them. At the end of the day, what we experienced was something that was significantly different from one-on-one mediation, as well as the co-mediation process. For a multi-party mediation session, the mediators have to be very patient and tolerant. I think these traits will be useful in dealing with situations like this for it is during a multi party mediation are these traits then especially more desirable than they already were. As I had experienced yesterday, it was extremely difficult to not want to side with one of the parties but, at least for my group, our mediators Agnes and Zhang Qing, projected an image of neutrality and impartiality. I think that if I was the mediator, things wouldn’t have proceed ed so smoothly. For one, I was cast as the big-organization types again!!! I was the government representative, another form of big organization(!). Heh, but at least now I was not required to take sides but though I must admit that at times, I forgot that I was the deputy minister for trade, not a union leader.

Basically, today’s lesson was essentially one that consolidates all that we had learned in the past one week. Negotiations were conducted outside during the private sessions. Agreements and coalitions were formed then, not at the table where they met. The principles of trust and relationship come into play when we did out own private negotiation. Both Chien Way (Minister) and I( Deputy) approached Elaine and Pei Yun in order to try to get them on board and work together with us to solve the problem. One of the hitch that came up was whether or not they wanted it or not, or if it was in their best interest to cooperate. Thus, Chien Way and I had to try to convince our FIB people into colluding with us. The basic point of what I have learned is that negotiation is part of the mediation process.

Overall, the last one week had been very enriching and extremely useful for me. I learnt many things that I did not know before. While some principles and lessons may seem simple, it required Ho Beng to make it obvious to us. I had a very good time in the class. I guess that making so many wonderful new friends was part of the reason as to why the module was so much fun and so enriching.

It has been a lovely one week, one that was filled with knowledge, friendships, laughter and joy. School had never been so fun. I am glad to have been part of this and hope that our class will still, somehow keep in touch. There is still Monday to go and I look for ward to seeing everyone again.

Time to hit the sack… Night…

2003-07-16T00:46:00.000+08:00

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This morning’s weather was rather nice. It had that nice tinge of orangey-blue combination in the sky. A great way to start the day. I really love the morning . I love the serenity and the freshness of the morning dew. The smell of the air at six plus at can be quite intoxicating at times. Today was also the fifth day of the course. Ceteris paribus, any student will be glad that the course is coming to an end. However, though I might experience the sense of relief at the end of class, I think that I am experiencing more of a sense of loss than anything else. To know that something that has been so enjoyable is coming to an end can be quite upsetting, in my opinion. Class for the last six days or so have been very, very enjoyable. In terms of content wise, the module has been very useful and Ho Beng has been a great teacher. I personally feel that the content was very enriching, and that the way the course was thought, deeply engaging. It really draws me in, and I think that I can safely say for the rest of the class that this is the case as well.

Today’s session was just as enjoyable as the last four sessions. We began the day with “Ashes of Fury”. This seemingly poetic title seem to connote something very “chim” and abstract. But, having been in Ho Beng’s class for the last 4 days, I think that I have learned to know that it is anything but. I played the role of Mdm Lim, this cranky middle age woman living in Toa Payoh. Muthu is my also cranky neighbour, who complains that my persona’s joss-stick and paper burning is causing them a lot of grief and trouble. Muthu was Toh Ken, and Joann was our poor mediator. Having been through that position as mediator, I say that I greatly felt for Joann. It is such an exhausting and exasperating job, especially if you have too highly strung and emotional parties. It was definitely an experience that she will not forget for quite a while. Haha!

Joann’s performance as a mediator was quite exemplary. I think that I would not be able to be as good as her. For one, she is really very organized and structured. For myself, I TRY to be like her, but my messy dragon-like words tend to make my paper look like something out of a primary school-kid’s doodling book. Aside from that, she also exhibited characteristics of friendliness, of having that look of interest on her face. Her calm, unruffled demeanor is also a positive trait. I feel that I can learn for her because I think that this point is quite vital in a mediation. This is especially more so if the parties that one is dealing with are quite emotional. Having a unemotional, rational and logical mediator will serve to calm the already volatile situation and bring about a measure of stability to the situation. Also, Joann has a good habit of summing up and reframing Mdm Lim’s and Muthu’s points. That is also a good thing for it showed us that we (Muthu and Mdm Lim) was listened too. It will then allow us to accord her more respect and authority, thereby allowing for a more successful mediation of sorts.

After the “Ashes of Fury” have been swept away by the flow of time, we then proceeded to have a debrief et al. After lunch, another new mediation scenario was given to us. This time, the purpose was to have co-mediation, which is in the mediation, there are two mediators instead of one. This poses new problems, as I found out later. As I have said before, one really learn something new everyday.
This new scenario was called “Lots of Lots”. In this particular scenario, two different companies are having a dispute with regards to reliability and product matters. They decided then to turn to mediation. This is thus where the two mediators come in. For this round, Joann and I were co-mediating the case. I was Alexander and Joann was Alexandra. Yizhen played the part of Miss Janet, who represented a small but upcoming wafer production firm known as Semi Con. Serene and Keith played the parts as Kim and Kelvin respectively. Both of them are representative of this big established firm known as Betazone. The mediation was to take place in the offices of Kim and Kelvin in Betazone.

Now, when I came to realize that we were going to Betazone for the mediation, I already felt that there will be some sort of a problem. For one, though I am supposed to be impartial and neutral, I felt that going into Betazone for the mediation already makes the mediation in Betazone’s favour. I was like going into enemy territory. Needless to say, Yizhen might have felt it even more so. As this was a role play, I didn’t think that the effects were that acute to us. However, if this was reality, I would think that Beta zone might feel a sense of comfort, knowing that they are on “home ground”. So in the beginning, I already felt that there was a kind of power imbalance between the two parties. Evidently, Serene might have known this and used it to her advantage for she constantly stressed that this was their office and that she hoped that “everything is in order, and that I hope that my secretary served you coffee.” To me, that was like a signal of sorts to this that she knew that she and Keith held some sort of a “home ground advantage.”

The mediation proceeded, with both Joann and I going through the “steps” of mediation. We had the opening, we let the other side continued with their side of the stories etc. One thing however, that we did different from other groups was that because we both had two mediators, when it came to the private session, both of us split up and each went to talk to the two sides simultaneously. Joann had the private session with Serene and Keith, while I had it with Yizhen. That we chose to hold the private session separately had quite a significant impact on the development there after. Up till now, several hours later, I still am not too sure if Joann and I did the right thing. Why do I say that? Partly because as both of us are doing different sides, we will tend to become more partial to the side that we are dealing with. It was quite difficult to remain emotionally neutral after the private sessions. Personally, I felt it was difficult. Maybe the reason as to why I felt this was could be due to the way I held the private sessions with Yizhen. While I started off as a mediator, I felt like I became her lawyer after that. I think that when both Joann met after that, our working relationship had changed from that of co-mediators to that of opposing negotiators!

It got even worse later. What I mean by “worse” is that, at least for me, Serene and Keith begin to feel that I am siding more with Semi Con rather than remaining neutral, as what a mediator ought to be! I think that they were convinced when I stated speaking on behalf of Yizhen and explaining why her company’s position is as such. The final coup de grace to my supposed impartiality was when I said something like “(Betazone) should…” That was quite a big mistake for it made them feel like I had become partial to Semi Con’s position. This was something that I think that I never recovered from,. Though I tried to be seen as neutral, I knew that I was not going to be trusted by the two of them again. The reason why I was speaking on behalf of Yizhen was mainly because she asked me to. Apparently, it is best to let for the two parties to speak to each other. Now I know better. The mediator do not really have to say a lot. I just had to try to facilitate the discussion. In that sense, Joann did a much better job than me. Though later during the debrief she did mention that she too, felt that it was difficult to be impartial. Still, at least it did not really show in what she said. I made a big, big error though by letting the other PERCIEVE that I was taking sides. And that was the reason why I think that I failed a mediator.

Another danger from splitting up the mediators is that they might be played by the parties into arguing with each other. So, co- mediators will end up as negotiators, and I think that both Joann and I were quite close to that stage. Hmm… I guess that it is not very wise to sit separately during the private session. The mediators in my opinion should always get to hear both sides of the story. This will prevent the co-mediators from taking sides as we both would know both sides of the coin. Thus, it will definitely be best if both the co-mediators be present when they are talking to any one side. This prevents things like those described earlier from happening.

As I reiterated earlier, being a mediator is not an easy task. One has to take into account the feelings of the mediator as well. Though we are supposed to be impartial and neutral, it can really be very difficult especially when one already side with the one party in principle. For example, I always had this animosity of sorts to many big -named firms. This is because I tend to see many of these firms as trying to prevent other companies from becoming established. They, in short, bully the small firms. This is how I see the situation between Betazone and Semi Con, where Beta zone I felt was bullying Semi Con. Coupled with the fact that I was having the private session with Yizhen ie. Semi Con, my supposedly neutrality and impartiality became just an illusion.

I think that today was the day that I learnt the most. I think that that can be accredited to the mistakes that I made during the mediation session. The old adage “learning form your own mistakes” certainly applies here, though I would prefer to learn from the mistakes of others! Ho Beng closed the session with this quote that I thought was highly accurate - “Truth is irrelevant. Perception is everything.” I think that this can be seen in how Serene and Keith viewed my stance. I was seen to be partial to Semi Con when in reality I was not. Or at least I was trying hard not to be.

I just hope that I do not make the same boo-boo tomorrow. Oh well, let’s see tomorrow then.

2003-07-11T00:27:00.000+08:00

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Today was the first day of class. Conflict Resolution: Negotiation and Mediation is the title of the module that I am taking. Seems pretty straightforward and obvious. Hah, yeah right. It was anything but as I soon found out.

I thought that the first exercise of the day was pretty interesting. It also demonstrated to me the importance of trust in any sort of negotiation. Though it was a simple exercise, it did convey many points across to me about negotiations. For one, the element of trust is very important. When I first conducted the negotiation with the other party, I must admit that during the process of negotiation, the thought that kept on appearing in my mind was that, will they keep to their end of the bargain? If I go with their suggestions, that is to maximize profits for both sides, can I trust them to keep theior word? My partner, Debbie, was just as concerned as me. The feeling of uncertainty about whether to trust them or not was rather pronounced in the first 2 rounds of the negotiation. This is because those two rounds will establish the nature of the other party, as to whether they are trustworthy or not. That they kept their word in the first round of negotiations made me more comfortable in dealing with them in the subsequent rounds.

This particular episode highlighted to me the importance of trust in negotiations. Dr Chia mentioned that without trust, there will be zero commerce. In the light of my experience, I can see as to why he said that. No one is going to trade if they cannot count on the other party to keep their word. Thus that is why I tend to reject the Nash Equilibrium and accept the notion of Social Exchange instead. (Aside from the fact that I am a Sociology student…) Thus, it is not necessary to always have competition, for collaboration can have many beneficial effects as well. I realize that because my group (A1 and B1) collaborated together, our profits were amongst the highest, as compared to those groups that kept on undercutting their prices and setting them at $15. I guess that there is a moral in this, in that good guys do finish first, for we abided by the rules that we set for ourselves and thus reaped the reward that followed. Keeping one’s word has obvious benefits.

There is also one more thing that connects with the point of trust. In the game that was played out, the class tends to see the last month as the final point. Nothing else matters after that. As Dr Chia said, there is no end-game, for life goes on. I think that this connects with the point on trust. If there is no end-game, there might be a likelihood that one would have to work with the other party again. And if one had played the other out before, then the other party will be highly unlikely to trust them again. Thus, trust is something that is difficult to build, and easy to break. Rather than competition, given the appropriate circumstances, collaboration would actually bring about greater profits overall. And in order for that to happen, trust MUST be an integral part of that relationship for the latter to work.

Interesting thing, the idea of trust…

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Day 2 of class. As usual, I had problems getting up in the morning. I remember the morning being pleasantly cool and somewhat cloudy. A great way to start the day.

Prior to the beginning of lessons, we did the Thomas Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument. According to this instrument (actually just a piece of paper lah!), I am one who is very accommodating, rather avoiding, somewhat competitive, likes to collaborate, but not very compromising. While this may not reflect accurately as to what I think of myself, I think that to a certain it is true. As a Libra (I think that I am under Eric’s influence!), I tend to want to avoid conflict and thus that may explain as to why I am highly accommodating and tend to avoid confrontation. However, I always saw my self as somewhat competitive so to see myself as being just somewhat competitive surprised me. Oh well, you learn something new everyday.

Today’s lesson started with the notion of relationships in negotiations, and the important role that communication plays. Indeed, communication seemed to be the theme for that morning, or at least for the day. From having to negotiate with the management in the Strike Two! Scenario, to the case of Project Yoyo, I realized that much of the problem resulted from miscommunication between the parties involved.

I feel that though the notion of trust is important in negotiation, communication is as important as well, if not, more. The presence of trust will mean that there is already some sort of a steady relationship having been established. For there to be trust, good communication is the key. If there is miscommunication between the parties involved, it will lead to misunderstandings. One of the consequences will be that the relationship between the two parties will be severely damaged. I think we can also forget about trust. I thought that this was pretty evident in the case of Project Yo-yo, where for example, misunderstandings occurred between Matt and Jeff because of poor and imprecise communication. Failure to correct this miscommunication resulted in even greater levels of misunderstanding.

In addition, body language or physiology, plays an important role as well in carrying the correct message across to the other party. Methinks that the way one sits, one’s posture et al is a sign as to whether one really mean what he/she says. This was reflected in the strike scenario negotiations, where my group (Nadia, Elaine, Jielin and myself) was able to read each other’s feelings and apparent intentions. Also, throughout the negotiation, there were no signs of hostility in either party. I thought that this was highly productive, in that we were signaling to each other that we were coming with the intention of solving the problem, and wanting to work together.

In addition, the tone at which one speaks in is also vital in negotiations as the tone (in addition to physiology) reflects the real feelings of the parties involved. With regards to the strike scenario, the situation that was given appeared to be highly charged with negative emotions. However, in the course of our negotiation, we set aside our emotions (for uncontrolled, they can really make one lose focus) and focused instead on being logical and rational in our negotiations. Both parties conducted the negotiation in a clear and level tone. I feel that speaking in a level tone is the best way to get through a negotiation, as it is counter-productive to be emotional, and it is highly difficult to negotiate with one who is of the latter case.

One thing that I noticed about the strike case is that, while we are able to control our emotions and thus conclude a negotiation successfully, can we do the same if it is for real and where we have a real and tangible interest? For myself, I think that I wouldn’t have been so calm nor logical as I am one that gets aggravated easily, which will have serious effects on the negotiations. My behaviour in the classroom is quite different than if I was really doing it for real. For one, there isn’t anything at stake at all and thus, I would not react as forcefully in a classroom setting as I would in a reality. Also, I would also NOT be as demanding in the real world because I am afraid of offending people. I must admit that the last two statements of mine are quite paradoxical…

I hope that I might be able to correct this big flaw of mine. Otherwise, in a negotiation, I will be as helpful as a rubber crutch.

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Friday is finally here!!! Nice as the rest of the week is, I still like Fridays. It connotes to me a respite of sorts. Through my life, Friday has always been my favourite day.

So it’s no wonder that today’s class was perhaps the best, or at least the funniest to date. The “Negotiator From Hell” scenarios were simply out of this world. I guess that the two who portrayed the negotiators from hell the best was Ning and Eric. Their act was simply a riot. Still, aside from the entertainment, the various scenarios were very useful as a tool for learning. Why do I say that? Probably because as the different scenarios were acted out, they made me think as to how and what to do, given the same circumstance. As the different situations were acted out, I tried to figure out to myself as to how I should react, what I should do. In addition, those playing the poor representative from Testing allowed me to see what they did wrong and right, thus enabling me to learn from their mistakes and success.

Furthermore, the negotiator from hell scenarios also emphasized the importance of the physical setup. The one who is behind the table, or the one who is negotiating on his own turf, is always the one who has the most control. This was very evidently seen in the negotiation between Ning and Keith. It was quite a tragic scene! (Tragic for Keith, that is!) These scenarios also helped me in defining more clearly as to what my “hells” are. Now I know that one of my hell is having to deal with someone like Toni Bitch or Daniel’s character. Type A (the arrogant, pushy, long-winded, uncompromising type) is definitely my hell, no questions. Tony Tan, I think that I can still handle; Ah-Bengs of a feather flock together.

Furthermore, today’s lesson once again emphasizes the importance of good communication. This is especially so in Project Yo-yo. All the various misunderstandings and unhappiness between Jeff and Matt would have been cleared up if there was a clear channel of communication between the two in the first place. Imagine my surprise at the negotiations with Delia and Agnes when I found out that Matt launched Project Yo-yo not to spite Jeff but, on the contrary, to make him happy. Thus in any sort of negotiation, good communication is of great consequence and is the overriding factor for building up good relationships, be they personal or business. It is vital that each party’s interest and position is laid as clear as possible to the other. This is to allow the other to see clearly as to what is truly wanted, which will contribute to a successful negotiation.

Good communication also allows for the establishment of trust in a relationship. If trust is missing, it would be very difficult to continue the relationship. Thus, the lack of trust will cause any sort of negotiations between the parties involved to have a much lesser chance of success. Thus, good communication in negotiations are highly important. I cannot emphasize this enough.

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Saturday. A day of rest and relax. Well, that day is suppose to be anyway. I had to get up early today because I needed to go to the temple to pray my grandmother. Thereafter, I had to go to school to attend Speech-power (ala Toastmasters type). This meant that by the time I was ready to meet my girlfriend Cheryl, I was more than half-dead with exhaustion. It also allowed me to apply my new found negotiation skills.

When I met Cheryl, it was early afternoon. It meant that we had lots of time to spend together. It also meant that I was very drowsy at that. When I am feeling tired and drowsy, I get really annoyed and grumpy. I think an appropriate metaphor will be a bear with a sore head.

After half an hour of muttering discontents and threats under my breath at members of the general public who, in one way or another was annoying me, Cheryl finally had enough and drag me to a corner. She initiated a sort of “negotiation” with me. I think that this is interesting because I realize that her way of negotiation is through the “common interest” way. Our main “objective“, so to speak, was to have a good time. My foul mood was not helping to accomplish that objective, for I wanted to sleep. So we stood at one corner and decided on our next course of action. I could actually see the mechanics of a negotiation come into life. I agree that this was not something really serious but it is still a real life scenario, not some classroom case. This exchange between her and me can still be considered a negotiation of sorts. We each laid out our ultimate objective (to be happy), our common interests and so on. In this case, I was the one who had the power to resolve the matter. It is I who can decide to be grumpy or not. But I didn’t want to spoil her day and mine because I was tired and grumpy. Thus, in the end, we both adjourned to the food-court at Le Meridian. Being exhausted, my interest was to rest and catch some shut-eye. She could agree with that because she had an interest in me being happy (or else, I would ruin her day). Thus she compromised and agreed to let me sleep at the food court while she read her book. At the end of today, we had a very good time. A very simple case of a negotiation but nonetheless, it was one whereby I could see the mechanics at work.

This incident made me realize that like Cheryl, when it comes to personal relationships, I tend to give in and compromise as well. We both seek to reconcile. This is probably because we are in a relationship and thus, since it matters a lot to us, we would want to preserve those good relations. This make us want to give in to each other. Basically, as a person, I am one who would seek the reconciliatory route. I notice that in the past few negotiations that I had conducted in the past three days, I always want to reconcile with the other party. I always want to collaborate and seek to point out our common interest. I guess the reason why I always choose this course of action is because I hate confrontations. Hmm, I wonder if this trait makes me a good negotiator, or one who is too easily pushed over? I guess that I will have to think about that…

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Mondays. It’s THAT time of the week again. Ordinarily, if it’s the school holidays, it wouldn’t be so bad. However, if it’s a school day, then that’s a different matter altogether. I think that it’s not so much a Monday thing. Rather, it’s the fact that the day before, one can sleep till the cows come home. On Monday mornings on a school day, one wakes up before the cow has even gone to bed. Ha-ha. Still it isn’t so bad. At least the stuff that goes on at school today is FUN! Honestly, I think that I looked forward to see what was in store for me today. I wasn’t disappointed. Not at all. That is one way to start off the week. On a good note!

Today’s session was on mediation. Something different from the usual negotiation business. As compared to negotiation, I think that mediation is a much more difficult and challenging process. Why do I say that? For one, in a negotiation, I only have to look after primarily, my interest. I can choose to disregard the other party and just go about satisfying my interest and mine alone. Though one may then say that I suffer from “paranoia delusion” if I take that course of action, I would still succeed, though to a limited degree.

In the case of mediation however, it is not so. As a mediator, I have to consider the arguments between the various parties involved. Considering that the amount of things one side has to tell to a mediator, it is thus more trying to remember and keep in mind the various things that each party says. Moreover, I also have to try at the same time, to identify their common points of interest. Thus, mediation I think, is a more tiring process that really demands a lot of the mediator’s concentration and energy. After the Michelle Fey exercise and Willy the Kid, I could see that the role that the mediator takes is a tough one.

In addition, as the mediator, it is important to remain neutral and impartial throughout the mediation process. In theory, this can be easily spoken of. In practice however, it is really another matter altogether. In short, trying to sit on the fence is easier said than done. I feel that this can be easily illustrated during the Willy the Kid exercise. As the mediator, I was suppose to remain impartial and neutral. However, after hearing from both parents, I cannot but help feel more for the father (Clifton Tan) than the mother (Lian Huey). I would say that most, if not all of my fellow classmates will feel the same way as well about the two characters. Lian Huey is a very bad mother and very irresponsible to her son Willy. Clifton on the other hand tries very hard to provide the best for his son. What I am trying to say here is that because Clifton espouses values that are similar to mine, I would thus begin to feel more incline towards his situation. Hence, if the mediator shares the same types of values and principles as one of the party, there is a very great chance that the mediator will end up taking sides, albeit unwittingly. I remembered having to remind myself constantly to prevent myself from falling into that kind of a situation. One solution that I can think of to counter this danger of unwittingly taking sides will be to bear in mind and keep in focus what the main aim of the mediation is about. In this case, it is about the emotional well-being of the child. Thus, I constantly ask myself as to whether or not the course of action will benefit the child, regardless of how both parents feel.

We had a chance to do difficult conversations towards the end of the lesson. In this scenario, the case was of a person called Pat (or Patricia). Essentially, he is a crude, loud character who is basically good at heart and an asset to the company he is working at. It is just that his rash abrasive manners do not go down too well with this all-woman team that he was given as his team. They charge him in court etcetera. Thus the task was to tell him where he is going wrong and hope to resolve the matter. For this scenario, Yizhen and I were both the negotiators, while Eric (aka Tony Tan) was the difficult Pat. In true Tony Tan style, he was so difficult to handle. Aside from the fact that half the time we were laughing so much, Eric was being very difficult handle. So Tony Tan. Still, I learnt quite a lot in trying to handle Eric. I tried the various techniques such as mirroring and trying to get him to see the super-ordinate goal. It took quite an amount of effort to get him to agree. In the end, we had to give him a pay rise. Hai, so Tony Tan.

After Eric, Yizhen took over the role as Pat, or Patricia as we called her. The same thing happened. As usual, like in the various scenarios before hand, we were laughing half the time and trying to calm ourselves to get on with the negotiation. Yizhen was also fairly difficult to handle and I think that both Eric and I decided on the same solution as given to Pat. A pay rise. Oh well, you cannot win them all. Haha!!

Overall, with regards to mediation I guess that my main flaw that as the mediator, I am too blur and not sharp enough to pick up on signals that the other party might give me. To correct this, methinks that I will have to start paying more attention to the words and language of the parties involved. Hopefully, I will be able to improve. If not, I think that will really suck. Let’s see what tomorrow will bring.